Hello, I'm Mariposa! I'm pretty new to the BDSM scene. I've been thinking of starting a blog for a while now and figured what better time to start then now? I figured I'd start out explaining my reasons for creating a blog and a little about myself- my past, what led me to BDSM. First let me say I tend to ramble and I'm no english major so bare with me please :) I'm just someone sharing my experiences in life.
OK- why did I decide to start a blog? Well it's a long story! So let me start by giving a little background and then I will get into further detail about a few things in later posts. Well I joined a site a few months ago- a BDSM personals site, in search for a dominant male. Well as luck should have it I met a great friend on the site- he is now my mentor. But my search for a Dom continues, but now I have the help of Mentor R. He is an awesome individual and has helped me tremendously with things.
So- I started these what I refer to as "bets" with Mentor R. They're not really bets, but it is easier to say that than having to go into great detail each time I am asked why I have to complete a taks I have been given. (I'll explain what these "bets" are later on) Back to why I started this blog!So, on the BDSM site whenever I would lose a "bet" I would have to post something on my profile- like a journal entry or a picture. People started viewing my profile just to see what crazy things I had to do with each bet I lost. So I figured why not start a blog where they can view all my hilarious shenanigans. Plus I was receiving a lot of rude messages from individuals on the BDSM site regarding my journal entries. I figured if I post here hopefully that will eliminate a lot of the horrible messages I receive.
Now I will tell you about myself and how I came into the BDSM scene. I just have a naturally submissive personality. I've always just let the guy take the lead in relationships- even with friendships I take a back seat and let the other take control. But I'd say my first taste of D/s was when I was 19. I grew up in a very sheltered, religious home. I way very naive growing up. At 19 I had never heard of BDSM or D/s let alone even knew there was a whole "lifestyle" out there. Anyways- I had a "friend with benefits" at the time. I remember the first "kinky" encounter. We were in the middle of things and I feel this smack on my ass! I freeze! I think to myself "Did he seriously just spank me?!" I start laughing because at that point I'm in shock that he even did that- and that I liked it! he asked me if I liked it. Of course I just laughed again because I was so embarrassed to say I did like it! But it then became a regular thing between us.
Over the next few months he begin to take more and more control over our "relationship". He started giving me rules, instructions. The first rule was I could only wear pink bras and panties- no other color. He said "I want you to go buy all pink bras and panties because you are only allowed to wear pink when you are with me from now on. Understood?" I didn't even blink- I agreed and then proceeded to go out first thing the next morning and buy every pink bra and pair of panties I could get my hands on! You'd think I would stop for a minute and think- that was an odd request. But that never entered my mind! I just wanted to please him and would do whatever it took to do exactly that. I loved the fact that he was in total control of things- I loved the dynamic of our relationship. Slowly he kept adding more "rules" and I just followed them willingly, happily. Other rules were to use proper english, speak in complete sentences. I could never say "yeah" only "yes" and never "thanks" only "thank you". He also told me how to dress, ordered for me when we went out to eat.
After about a year we went our separate ways. After our relationship ended I was in a vanilla relationship for 7 years. I ended up getting married and ultimately divorced. I neve gave my prior relationship thought, but it was always in the back of my mind that I wanted to find a man that liked to be in control. During the year after my divorce I did a lot of soul searching. Also due to depression- I read nonstop! I read to escape my reality. Yes I admit I read a lot of erotica during that time. I happened to pick up a new book one day not knowing it was about BDSM. I started reading and immediately thought- "whoa you should NOT be reading this. This is so not your thing." But the more I read the more I was drawn into the book, I couldn't put it down! I had never found a book so exciting in my life! It scared me I will admit because I thought there was no way I could be into being tied up, controlled, humiliated. But it lingered in the back of my mind for days. Finally I came to terms with it and decided to do some research into the lifestyle.
I looked up all the information I could find on the internet about BDSM. At first when I thought of the lifestyle I thought- well I like a lot of the aspects but there are so many I have no interest in! The more research I did I found it more and more enticing. I found you don't have to be into everything! I'm just not as extreme as some when it comes to BDSM. That is when it all fell into place for me. I knew this was what I was craving, missing from my relationships.So I decided to explore this side of myself. I thought what better way to meet other kinky people than online! So that is what brought me to this point in my life. I'm still searching for my perfect Dom :) I do have to say I have met some interesting characters along the way that I will tell you about later. Also I am talking to a certain someone I must say interests me a lot at this point. That is all I'm going to say at this point. More to come...
