I mentioned before that I would not be discussing the first Dom I met in person. But I think it is time I did. The only reason I bring him up is because he made a comment once that we totally disagreed on and it still pops in my head all the time. Of course he gets a nickname- now this one took a lot of thought because his personality was so multilayered and intriguing. Finally I came up with Jawbreaker. As you know jawbreakers are hard as hell- there is no way you can bite into them due to layer upon layer of sugar- it makes for an indestructible candy.
Now Jawbreaker's personality- he is by far the strictest Dom I have met yet. He made it known from the very beginning he was in total control of everything- and I mean everything! He made it clear his sub was only there for his pleasure- he did not think a sub should derive any pleasure from the experience. He said pleasing him and him alone should be enough to please his sub. He also said he did not want his sub to worry about when she could orgasm- ever- because that would mean her mind was preoccupied and she should only worry about his pleasure. His thoughts on pleasing his sub- maybe on birthdays and holidays! That's all- had no intention of ever worrying about his sub's pleasure. He even wanted to put his sub on a strict diet and she could only eat what he said. She would only be allowed to eat her favorite things on rare occasions. When we met for dinner he even ordered for me- when I corrected him on my order he looked at me like "how dare you speak!", he ordered dessert- oh excuse me- he gave me three choices to choose from after he asked me what my favorite type of dessert was. I told him I love chocolate- he said "well you have to choose from..." then he gave me three choices- none of which were chocolate! I think he was just being cruel hehe. You get the point- he was strict!
So the dilemma we discussed numerous times was this: I can be fiesty and misbehave on purpose to get a punishment or be put back in my place. Why? I like the rush I get from it. The anticipation, the build up before the actual punishment- it's like a mini adrenaline rush for me. It's not the punishment itself that I enjoy as much as the thrill I get from wondering what it is that is going to happen- how far will they take it? How big of a punishment will it be?
His view on misbehaving on purpose was that it was manipulating the situation to get what you want. He said he didn't want to give into the "demands" of his sub because then that would make the sub in control of the situation and not the Dom. He said he would rather his sub just ask for a punishment out right and then he would make the decision whether he wanted to or not. Now am I just strange in thinking this? I don't view it as manipulation at all. Also- I don't want control of any situation- that's why I'm a sub! If I wanted control I definately would not put myself in a situation for a man to punish me in whatever way he saw fit. Also- I understand it is the sub's job to please her Dom but come on! No pleasure at all- ever?! I don't think so. If I'm putting myself out there, trusting you completely with my physical and mental well being- you don't think I deserve any pleasure at all? Sorry- for me it doesn't work that way.
If I just came out and aksed to be punished that would totally go against why I'm doing it in the first place. If I were just looking for punishment- then fine I'd ask for it outright. But the reason for the misbehaving is not to manipulate the situation or to displease- no! Also- it's not something I would do all the time- just every once in a while. 95% of the time I am totally on my best behavior- sometimes I just happen to get fiesty.Plus- what's more fun- punishing me because I ask, or punishing me because I was a bad, bad girl? hehe I am a bit of a thrill seeker-I live for that feeling of anticipation. Just like I enjoy orgasm denial. I love that feeling of being on edge for hours, days- being teased nonstop with no release. Why? The end result is so much more enjoyable.
So I put this question out there to all the Dom's. Do you view misbehaving on purpose a way of manipulation- or do you find it fun like I do?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Dom Or Pervy Jackass?
Alright- I admit it! I have been in a terrible mood lately due to a certain event. I'm trying to stay positive and not let it get to me, but it's not working. So I figure I rant a little- ok a lot probably- and that'll be that. Again- like therapy- get it out. So excuse me while I rant! FYI- I am not speaking of Dom's in general in this post, it is aimed at one individual who thinks himself a Dom. I was going to post about the experience I had but I decided not to- because even though he said he wont read my blog, I know he's going to because the curiosity will kill him! So I'm not giving him the satisfaction of reading what I have to say of the experience- that's mine to keep :) Instead I will address the issues I have with him and a few others I've come across that think sub's are stupid and can't think for themselves.
I know there are a lot of submissive women that have no self confidence and are doormats- so I can see why in general some would think subs would just sit and put up with men's crap. Well I'm here to tell you- sorry we are not all like that. I've been around the block a few times. Even though I'm only 27- you being in your 30s does not mean you know more when it comes to the opposite sex. I've been with players quite a few times unfortunately and I know their tactics. So don't think you fooled me- I know exactly what you are!
Now- I'm not upset with the peson for being a player- because honestly I knew it going in. But again me being me- I tried to see the good in him- what can I say? Always looking for the positive in people- always. No- I'm not upset with him- he's the one who is going to have to deal with his own issues someday. Unfortunately his head is so far up his ass at this point to see the light. So again, no I'm not upset with him- I'm upset with myself for thinking there is good in everyone and actually putting myself out there and hoping to be treated with respect. I forget- not everyone follows the same rules as me- I believe you respect others no matter what- because I want respect in return. As the old saying goes- treat others as you wish to be treated. Call me old fashioned but I live by that rule. Call it karma, fate- whatever, I truly believe it comes back to you.
So- I don't appreciate being taken for a fool- I may be naive in some aspects of life but I know enough that I don't have to put up with your degradation. Your the one that was an ass yet when confronted- what is your tactic? Instead of denying the issue I brought up- or even acknowledging the issue- you try to undermine me, make me feel weak, call me names, try to make me feel stupid. If what I said was incorrect- isn't the first response usually to deny the claim? In my experience it is- yet you never even addressed it! Which in my experience- confirms I was right. Which means you've been found out and you were pissed I was smart enough to figure it out- so your tactic was to put me down. Nope- didn't work. Why didn't it work? Two reasons; One: I've dealt with too many of your kind- I know the drill. Two: I have a brain! I use it! I can put two and two together- I'm not going to state how I figured it out- but I have my reasons. I'm not just being a bitch to be a bitch.
You supposedly like submissive women with a dominant personality yet you can't take it when one calls your bluff? Hmm, interesting. Very interesting. I may be submissive, but that in no way shape or form means I can be taken advantage of. So I've come up with three scenarios that could be true- none of which are good. One: your just a cheater, maybe your sub really doesn't know of your other "flings". Two: You just weren't that into me and instead of manning up and saying- not that into you- you came up with this extravagant lie. Which makes you a pathetic liar. Or three: you really do have major issues you need to work through- but you definately should not be with anyone while you deal with them. Plus- someone who needs 3+ girls in their life at once- there is really something wrong with you. The way I see it- your fucked whatever the scenario is!
Now my rant is over and I can move on with my life. But you- you are either trying to deal with your issues which is never fun or you are jumping for joy for "fooling" another chick with your routine. Good luck with that! Ok- now I can move on to happier posts. hehe
I know there are a lot of submissive women that have no self confidence and are doormats- so I can see why in general some would think subs would just sit and put up with men's crap. Well I'm here to tell you- sorry we are not all like that. I've been around the block a few times. Even though I'm only 27- you being in your 30s does not mean you know more when it comes to the opposite sex. I've been with players quite a few times unfortunately and I know their tactics. So don't think you fooled me- I know exactly what you are!
Now- I'm not upset with the peson for being a player- because honestly I knew it going in. But again me being me- I tried to see the good in him- what can I say? Always looking for the positive in people- always. No- I'm not upset with him- he's the one who is going to have to deal with his own issues someday. Unfortunately his head is so far up his ass at this point to see the light. So again, no I'm not upset with him- I'm upset with myself for thinking there is good in everyone and actually putting myself out there and hoping to be treated with respect. I forget- not everyone follows the same rules as me- I believe you respect others no matter what- because I want respect in return. As the old saying goes- treat others as you wish to be treated. Call me old fashioned but I live by that rule. Call it karma, fate- whatever, I truly believe it comes back to you.
So- I don't appreciate being taken for a fool- I may be naive in some aspects of life but I know enough that I don't have to put up with your degradation. Your the one that was an ass yet when confronted- what is your tactic? Instead of denying the issue I brought up- or even acknowledging the issue- you try to undermine me, make me feel weak, call me names, try to make me feel stupid. If what I said was incorrect- isn't the first response usually to deny the claim? In my experience it is- yet you never even addressed it! Which in my experience- confirms I was right. Which means you've been found out and you were pissed I was smart enough to figure it out- so your tactic was to put me down. Nope- didn't work. Why didn't it work? Two reasons; One: I've dealt with too many of your kind- I know the drill. Two: I have a brain! I use it! I can put two and two together- I'm not going to state how I figured it out- but I have my reasons. I'm not just being a bitch to be a bitch.
You supposedly like submissive women with a dominant personality yet you can't take it when one calls your bluff? Hmm, interesting. Very interesting. I may be submissive, but that in no way shape or form means I can be taken advantage of. So I've come up with three scenarios that could be true- none of which are good. One: your just a cheater, maybe your sub really doesn't know of your other "flings". Two: You just weren't that into me and instead of manning up and saying- not that into you- you came up with this extravagant lie. Which makes you a pathetic liar. Or three: you really do have major issues you need to work through- but you definately should not be with anyone while you deal with them. Plus- someone who needs 3+ girls in their life at once- there is really something wrong with you. The way I see it- your fucked whatever the scenario is!
Now my rant is over and I can move on with my life. But you- you are either trying to deal with your issues which is never fun or you are jumping for joy for "fooling" another chick with your routine. Good luck with that! Ok- now I can move on to happier posts. hehe
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