I thought I'd write a little about my past today. I may not have been in the "lifestyle" very long but that does not mean I haven't done my share of kinky things. I've always been more on the adveturous side when it comes to sex. But I held back a lot because I didn't want men to think I was too kinky! So if I was "holding back"- well a good Dom could really push my limits! I guess I'd never thought of it till now. I'm realizing everyday I am more open to things than I originally thought. Yes with the right Dom I would love for my limits to be pushed- not ignore but push me a little out of my comfort zone. Again- it would definately have to be with someone I trust completely- I have to know my limits will be respected and that they know how far they can actually push me.
I figured I'd share a few of my firsts. Why not start with how I lost my virginity? I was 16 and it was with my first serious boyfriend. We met at the church our families went to. We played in the worship band and had a key to the church sanctuary so we could us it to practice when we wanted. We went there one night just the two of us and played strip blackjack! Yes I know- blackjack? Two reasons- one: I don't know how to play poker, two: it goes a lot faster than poker which means clothes come off faster! Woo hoo! Yes- I'm damned to hell! I not only gambled in church- I lost my virginity looking up at a huge cross thinking- 'God, please don't strike me dead!" Talk about a rush!:)
Speaking of my first boyfriend- he was quite the exhibitionist. That was a big turn on for me as well. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. I'll just list a few of the places we fooled around/had sex because there are a lot! hehe I experienced quite a few firsts with him. Ok- here's the list. Well- we never drove anywhere without my panties coming off- even if it was a 5 minute drive to the store! So you can only imagine what fun we had on our car rides. One time we actually had sex while he was driving. I would not recommend that! We nearly crashed quite a few times! Of course there's the movie theater- but who hasn't fooled around watching a movie?
It seemed whenever there was a blanket around we would end up cuddling and sharing the blanket and groping each other! A few memorable grope sessions: during a church camping trip near the firepit while singing worship songs, watching movies at his house with his parents in the same room. Then there were times no blanket was present but it was discreet. Like at dinner at our senior ball- under the tablecloth. Also one halloween while walking through a haunted house. I had a very short skirt on and his hand was up my skirt the whole time!
His parents owned a party supply store- so we would go there a lot and have sex right in the front of the the store on the floor- under the storefront window. You could only see in from certain angles. In the back of the store there was a table full of books with sample wedding invitations. hehe- if people only knew what happened on top of those invitations a few times. That's just a few of my firsts with him. Like I said- I'm kinky, always have been :)
A few more of my firsts- well I had two good friends growing up and we would always hang out together. Lets just say we liked to see the look of shock on guys faces- so we would either make out with each other or strip down in public a lot LOL. Oh yes, how could I forget? One night we had three guys over my friends house and we made dinner. Then we proceeded to do a strip tease in the backyard, cover ourselves in chocolate syrup and lick it off each other. Then there was the time my best friend and I invited her boyfriend over her house and we were waiting for him in the bathtub taking a bubble bath. We asked him to join us and we ended up kind of having a little threesome. If you could have seen the look on his face when he walked in on us in the tub!
Well there are numerous other things- I could share more, but at this point I think that is enough hehe. So I guess I was kinky from the beginning! It all started with my first sexual encounter. Hmm- I had never thought of it until now. Interesting- very interesting.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thunderbolt
Ok- this is going to be a long one! Just letting you know ahead of time. This was a major learning experience so I don't want to leave anything out. So- I met another Dom in person a while back- I call him Thunderbolt. Why? Well if you are not familiar with the candy it is a gumball that starts off sweet and once you bite into it it is sour as hell! It leaves you tearing up, your face contorting from the shear sourness taking over! Which explains him to a T! He came across as a nice sweet, caring guy but then turned into a complete ass!
I started chatting with Thunderbolt and again he seemed very nice. He seemed to have the perfect mix- a nice guy but dominant when he needed to be. But for some reason from the beginning I just had this feeling he was only looking for a quick hookup and nothing else. I understand some are into that- that's fine, whatever floats your boat- I'm just not looking to hook up with random people. I may not actively be looking for a long term relationship but that doesn't mean I'm totally opposed to it. I've just found it hard to find someone you connect with on both levels- kinks and chemistry. In a vanilla relationship you just have to worry about the chemistry. But in a long term D/s relationship- there is a whole other level you have to worry about if it is truly going to be a long term relationship. In my eyes- you can't be with someone who has totally different kinks- one party will always be left unsatisfied if that's the case.
So I have come to terms with the fact that it is easier to find someone you share the same kinks with and if more develops from there- awesome! Ultimately- yes I am looking for one I can connect with on both levels- but until then it doesn't mean I'm going to sit back and let life pass me by! I'm going to have fun in the meantime. Don't get the wrong impression of me though- I'm not one that will open my legs to anyone- I do have standards! LOL I have to have some kind of connection with the person- some level of chemistry has to be present.
So shortly after I started chatting with Thunderbolt I sent him a message saying I was taking a break from chatting with people. I knew he was just looking for quick sex so I decided to put an end to our discussions. He then aggresively messaged me back and said "you know you truly are not taking a break from chatting with others. You're just afraid of what I might make you feel. It scares you. I'm different from others so have a little faith in me." So like a dumbass- always trying to look at the positive side of things I thought- maybe he isn't just looking for a one night stand. So I continued to chat with him. Ultimately I agreed to meet him in person. Going into that night I pretty much knew where we would end up at the end of the night but I think I was craving the D/s interaction more than anything.
So he came to my house to pick me up. He had a present for me! He bought me a book about history because he remembered I'm big on reading about history. I thought "aww, how sweet. Maybe he is different!" So we went to dinner- he was easy to talk to I will admit, which is big for me since I am such a shy person. I remember the instant when my suspicions were confirmed on whether he was looking for a one night stand. He kept asking me about others I had met in person from the site. He kept asking me with shock in his voice "so you never played with any of them?!" He then asked me "so you played with your mentor, R?" No! Just friends! Dude- don't you get it? I'm not some slut that just sleeps with someone because they state they are dominant! Not me!
On the drive home I decided to ask a question I know I didn't want to know the answer to! "So, how often do you do this?!" His response- "depends on what you consider often." OMG- totally checked out at that point! No turning back! So we pulled up to my house, he said "I want you to go in your bedroom, change into a pink bra and panties, get on your knees- back to the door and wait for me. Understood? You have 20 minutes." So I went in my bedroom, changed, got on my knees and waited- furiously texting R- "what the hell am I doing? Not sure I want to do this!"
After waiting for quite a while- nearly hyperventilating because I was freaking out about the choice I made- he finally came in- I still had the phone in my hand. He told me in a stern voice- "put your phone down!" So I put my phone down- Here we go!He came up behind me and put a blindfold over my eyes. WTF- he keeps a blindfold on him?! I heard him pacing. He told me to sit up straight and put my hands on my thighs and not to move them. Then I felt a hand brush my hair, then my cheek, my lips.Then I felt a hand on my stomach- he pulled my bra aside- then I felt what I assumed was ice on my nipples- then a mouth!
Next he told me to strip and kneel back down. I did then he told me to open my mouth, so I did- what do you think heppened next? Yes I felt a cock entering my mouth. Like I said before I enjoy oral so there was no problem there! He told me to suck his cock- then he pushed my head down farther so I was deep throating him- yummy! He told me to lay down on the bed and put my hands on the headboard like I was bound- so I did. Then of course you know what happened. I'm not going into full detail about every thrust LOL. I accidently moved a hand and he immediately told me to put my hand back in a stern voice. Oooh- now things were getting exciting! So being the fiesty person I am I did it again on purpose. Again he told me to put my hand back. Ok- so that excited me a little- the whole control thing- so I did it again! He stopped and told me to stand up and bend over the edge of the bed. He said he was going to punish me for not listening- now we're talking! So I bent over the bed- he told me to count out loud every time he spanked me. Let me just say- I LOVE spanking! So I was a little excited at that point. He started "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10."
After the spanking he told me to go get a black marker- oh boy- that could only mean one thing! I went and got a marker. He told me to lay back down on the bed and put my hands back on the headboard and to leave them there the whole time! Then things continued- he stopped for a minute and said "what should I write on you huh? I'll write fucked- so all your friends will know you were fucked!" LOL- I am cracking up inside at that point. So he wrote fucked on my stomach in big letters. Then he pulled my hair with one hand and I felt another hand around my neck- I immediately freak out! I think "No! Where did you even get the idea that I'm into breath play?! We never discussed anything related to that!" But he didn't choke me- he just put a little pressure which actually excited me a little- I never would have thought I would be into something like that!
If you read my journal entries you know by now that he left without even looking at me and didn't say one word! Not even bye! He just walked out! That really made me feel used! Anyways- there's my story. Again- a learning experience.
I started chatting with Thunderbolt and again he seemed very nice. He seemed to have the perfect mix- a nice guy but dominant when he needed to be. But for some reason from the beginning I just had this feeling he was only looking for a quick hookup and nothing else. I understand some are into that- that's fine, whatever floats your boat- I'm just not looking to hook up with random people. I may not actively be looking for a long term relationship but that doesn't mean I'm totally opposed to it. I've just found it hard to find someone you connect with on both levels- kinks and chemistry. In a vanilla relationship you just have to worry about the chemistry. But in a long term D/s relationship- there is a whole other level you have to worry about if it is truly going to be a long term relationship. In my eyes- you can't be with someone who has totally different kinks- one party will always be left unsatisfied if that's the case.
So I have come to terms with the fact that it is easier to find someone you share the same kinks with and if more develops from there- awesome! Ultimately- yes I am looking for one I can connect with on both levels- but until then it doesn't mean I'm going to sit back and let life pass me by! I'm going to have fun in the meantime. Don't get the wrong impression of me though- I'm not one that will open my legs to anyone- I do have standards! LOL I have to have some kind of connection with the person- some level of chemistry has to be present.
So shortly after I started chatting with Thunderbolt I sent him a message saying I was taking a break from chatting with people. I knew he was just looking for quick sex so I decided to put an end to our discussions. He then aggresively messaged me back and said "you know you truly are not taking a break from chatting with others. You're just afraid of what I might make you feel. It scares you. I'm different from others so have a little faith in me." So like a dumbass- always trying to look at the positive side of things I thought- maybe he isn't just looking for a one night stand. So I continued to chat with him. Ultimately I agreed to meet him in person. Going into that night I pretty much knew where we would end up at the end of the night but I think I was craving the D/s interaction more than anything.
So he came to my house to pick me up. He had a present for me! He bought me a book about history because he remembered I'm big on reading about history. I thought "aww, how sweet. Maybe he is different!" So we went to dinner- he was easy to talk to I will admit, which is big for me since I am such a shy person. I remember the instant when my suspicions were confirmed on whether he was looking for a one night stand. He kept asking me about others I had met in person from the site. He kept asking me with shock in his voice "so you never played with any of them?!" He then asked me "so you played with your mentor, R?" No! Just friends! Dude- don't you get it? I'm not some slut that just sleeps with someone because they state they are dominant! Not me!
On the drive home I decided to ask a question I know I didn't want to know the answer to! "So, how often do you do this?!" His response- "depends on what you consider often." OMG- totally checked out at that point! No turning back! So we pulled up to my house, he said "I want you to go in your bedroom, change into a pink bra and panties, get on your knees- back to the door and wait for me. Understood? You have 20 minutes." So I went in my bedroom, changed, got on my knees and waited- furiously texting R- "what the hell am I doing? Not sure I want to do this!"
After waiting for quite a while- nearly hyperventilating because I was freaking out about the choice I made- he finally came in- I still had the phone in my hand. He told me in a stern voice- "put your phone down!" So I put my phone down- Here we go!He came up behind me and put a blindfold over my eyes. WTF- he keeps a blindfold on him?! I heard him pacing. He told me to sit up straight and put my hands on my thighs and not to move them. Then I felt a hand brush my hair, then my cheek, my lips.Then I felt a hand on my stomach- he pulled my bra aside- then I felt what I assumed was ice on my nipples- then a mouth!
Next he told me to strip and kneel back down. I did then he told me to open my mouth, so I did- what do you think heppened next? Yes I felt a cock entering my mouth. Like I said before I enjoy oral so there was no problem there! He told me to suck his cock- then he pushed my head down farther so I was deep throating him- yummy! He told me to lay down on the bed and put my hands on the headboard like I was bound- so I did. Then of course you know what happened. I'm not going into full detail about every thrust LOL. I accidently moved a hand and he immediately told me to put my hand back in a stern voice. Oooh- now things were getting exciting! So being the fiesty person I am I did it again on purpose. Again he told me to put my hand back. Ok- so that excited me a little- the whole control thing- so I did it again! He stopped and told me to stand up and bend over the edge of the bed. He said he was going to punish me for not listening- now we're talking! So I bent over the bed- he told me to count out loud every time he spanked me. Let me just say- I LOVE spanking! So I was a little excited at that point. He started "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10."
After the spanking he told me to go get a black marker- oh boy- that could only mean one thing! I went and got a marker. He told me to lay back down on the bed and put my hands back on the headboard and to leave them there the whole time! Then things continued- he stopped for a minute and said "what should I write on you huh? I'll write fucked- so all your friends will know you were fucked!" LOL- I am cracking up inside at that point. So he wrote fucked on my stomach in big letters. Then he pulled my hair with one hand and I felt another hand around my neck- I immediately freak out! I think "No! Where did you even get the idea that I'm into breath play?! We never discussed anything related to that!" But he didn't choke me- he just put a little pressure which actually excited me a little- I never would have thought I would be into something like that!
If you read my journal entries you know by now that he left without even looking at me and didn't say one word! Not even bye! He just walked out! That really made me feel used! Anyways- there's my story. Again- a learning experience.
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