Yes people- I'm doubting myself again! I don't doubt my place in this lifestyle- no not at all. I know I need D/s in my life now- it's part of me. I doubt if I am worth being owned. Why would someone choose to own me? I'm nothing special. Am I even worthy of being considered for ownership? Why would someone choose me out of all the other subs out there? I'm new to all this, I'm too fiesty most of the time, I'm too much work. So- how could I possibly think someone would want to own me?
All I really have to offer is my need to please and willingness to explore all BDSM has to offer. I admit- I am so ready to jump into a D/s relationship- I want to begin my journey. I'm chomping at the bit. But I hesitate because I can't stop thinking- "would I really be a great sub for someone? What makes me think I have what it takes to please someone?" But I don't think it is my choice to make. It's not up to me if I am owned. I mean yes- I have a say in if I'm willing to submit to them, but I have no choice over whether the person wants to own me or thinks I'm worthy of being owned.
Hell- I can't even ask the questions I want to ask because I have myself so worked up that I'll bug the person if I take up any of their time. All I think about lately is D/s! It seems it has become my life at times- is that normal in the beginning? I feel like a crazy person. It is overwhelming at points- I just have to stop and take a moment to breathe- tell myself it is nothing, it is just another side of myself that I have recently discovered. I'm not saying I'm just going to jump into it with anyone! I have to trust the person completely if I'm truly going to be owned.
So- what do I have to offer? Not much- but I do have a need to please. I would make sure I do everything in my power and always give 100% in trying to please my Dom. I'm open to trying new things and want to try new things. I want to be the best sub I can be. I want someone to take the time to tell me exactly what pleases them and I will always give my best effort to do just that- please. That is all I can offer. Is that enough to be worthy of owning? I'm not sure.
