Alright R- I know you like to give me a hard time about the age of men that I talk to. Go ahead, say it, you always have a joke for me. Well guess what? You are going to have to come up with even more jokes because my point has been proven time and time again that older men are better! Due to recent events- I am not talking to men my own age- does not seem to work! Ok R? I tried it your way- now I'm doing it my way. R has teased me nonstop for chatting with anyone over 35. Hey- 35+ is not old! Most men I actually connect with are 40+. Sorry R- just the way it is.
I have always been more mature for my age- I'm 27 but everyone says I'm a 50 year old in disguise. I'm just not into the superficial things people my age are into. Hell- my closest friends, except for 3, are in their 50s, 60s, one is even in their 70s! Why? One- I am mature, not saying I'm not young in some aspects- I do have my moments of course. Two- older individuals have more life experiences to learn from and can actually give sane advice! I also think it has a little to do with authority. Immediately when I come in contact with someone older- I see them as an authority figure. Of course- being a sub I crave authority and am drawn to it. Also- in terms of a Master- hello! Older= more experience which= more learning and pleasure! Plus- older individuals are more secure in themselves. They're not out to prove how "badass" they can be. They know who they are already and know what they want. As do I! I may "change my mind" a lot- but it's only due to the fact that society tells me to think one way and I have a little birdy in my ear giving me a hard time, saying " don't go for older men! Seriously? You want a Grandpa or a Daddy figure?" NO- not for the purpose of Daddy/daughter role play. Blah- so not my thing. The thought of that makes me cringe- just not into it.
So yeah- I like older men- always have, always will. Not because I have Daddy issues- no that's not the case at all. Older men are established in life, know what they want, usually are not out to prove anything. They are who they are and you can just enjoy their company and not worry about what is going through their head or where you stand with them- they generally tell it like it is. So I may not be actively looking for a Master at this point. But I am looking for someone I can trust and learn with. I want someone I can look up to and understands I'm new to this and wants to take the time to maybe train me. I want a friend first- someone I can confide in, learn from. Boys my age are are generally looking for one thing- sex! No- that's not what I want. I want to learn and grow in BDSM- I need one that understands that and wants to teach. I want someone that is willing to go to events, show me what is out there in the lifestyle- open my eyes to this new found world.
I'm not looking for a vanilla relationship- I'm looking for either a Master or a continuous play partner.. I don't want a relationship- I am not mentally prepared for that type of commitment right now. No- I want a friend. I just want someone I can trust, one who understands the mental aspects of D/s- not just the physical. I crave mostly the mental aspects- that is what I am after. You would think it would be easy to find! Most say they are looking for the same thing- but then they say I am too shy. Well- when you've dealt with what I have- you would understand why it takes me time to open up. Most just don't want to take the time for me to open up- they want it immediately. I am not like that- I may chat openly on IM but when I meet someone in person- I close up. I can't help it- but if you give me time- I am an open book! Once I trust you- I don't hide anything. Especially due to all the fakes I've talked to recently- I would completely have to trust you in order to open up. Take the time to get to know me because I know I would be a great sub for someone. I live to please and I am open to pretty much everything. I am becoming more and more open everyday now that I am learning about the lifestyle more. In the beginning I was not open at all- but you ask me about something now and I would probably say- "sure, wont know if I like it or not unless I try it!"
So why is it so hard to find genuine, caring people? Why can I not find one to explore things with? Are you all fakes? At this point I am beginning to back away from the lifestyle even though I know it's what I want and need in my life. But maybe I'm not sub material. Or at least- no one thinks I'm sub material. So the answer to my question- is age just a number? Most say yes. I say no, it is not- it is so much more than that. I feel you can offer so much more and a more rewarding experience if you have more life experience. It's as simple as that.
Ok, ok- let me clarify LOL. Lets keep it 45 and under.
