Don't you wish sometimes you could throw a temper tantrum like a child? I sure do! I see my daughter act like it's the end of the world if I tell her no she can't have a cookie. She immediately throws herself to the floor and starts flailing around like a fish out of water. I want to get away with that! Might get out some of my frustration- but instead of screaming "I want a cookie!" I'd scream "I want a Dom- now!!" LOL- not to say I'm going to just settle and take the first person that offers! I've found out I am quite picky when it comes to what I'm looking for. But geez- I feel like a kid in school without a cool lunch box! It seems every person I've chatted with in the past has found a sub and I'm sitting here all by my lonesome- just twiddling my thumbs, trying to wait patiently. But inside I want to scream and flail about on the floor. I know I really need to work on my patience- I have none! I know- very subtle Mariposa. I can't help it- I always speak my mind no matter how revealing it might be.
It makes me stop and think- is this not for me? Is there something completely wrong with me? Would I not make a good sub- is that why I've had no luck so far? Then I think- no I wasn't chatting with real Dom's before- I was chatting with immature little boys looking for an easy target and they found it! But believe me- I have learned! Now I'm not the most confident person- so me saying this about myself takes a lot! I don't want people to think I'm full of myself or anything- but if you know me well enough- you know I am the farthest thing from confident. But I have to say- I would make one kick ass sub for someone! I know for a fact just due to my personality. I live to please! Even in all my past relationships I gave everything I had to my partner- they came first. Their happiness, comfort, needs- everything!
So yeah- I know I would make a wonderful sub. So why is it I don't have people asking me left and right?! Well, I know I'm not the most normal person- yeah I'm goofy, I'm out there- but take a look in the mirror people! We're all freaks here! BDSM- yeah we're all a little out there. Admit it! :) Or is it my looks? Got me! I know I'm no supermodel but I look at some of these people that have Dom's and think (sorry- some may think this is very shallow) "They have a Dom?! Yet I can't find one?" Who knows- I will say this much though- yes I will make first contact with someone. But after that, you want me- don't be subtle! Aren't you a Dom for Christ's sake? You want it- come take it- stake a claim! Bring it! Show me whose in charge! I understand it takes time to get to know an individual and trust them- but if your interested- at least tell me you are! I'm not a mind reader- or else I just don't understand anything at all- like I said I'm a ditz! Spell it out! Tell me all the dirty kinky things you want to do to me. I hold back until I know what is on someones mind for a couple reasons 1. I'm supposed to be "submissive" and not be in control! 2. I don't honestly know what's going through a persons head- you have to lay it all out for me to understand.
I'm so frustrated at this point with all this pent up sexual frustration and need for punishment. I feel sorry for the person who has to deal with me! :) You'll have a wild woman on your hands! Hope you can handle it. So yeah- I want to throw a tantrum and scream "I want a Dom! I want a punishment now! I need a punishment! Tie me up! Spank me! Pull my hair! Show me who's in charge- put me in my place! Fuck me!" Yes- I'm a bit flustered at this point if you couldn't tell hehe. Oh- did I tell you- I want a Dom!
