My Decision

So I made my decision on who's rule to follow. yes- I took a big step and I followed Sir's rule over R's. I told R- "nope, not following your rule. I'm putting my trust in Sir and I am following his rule." So what was R's intention in this punishment? Exactly what I thought it was- to test my devotion to this potential Dom. So I guess you could say I passed!


Immediately I e-mail Sir and tell him what just went down. I tell him I chose his rule over R's. I hear from him today and he says he is happy I chose the way I did. I am glad I could please- I mean I am a sub after all. I live to please! Then he asks me- "so you've decided you officially want to be owned? No question no one else- you want to be ALL mine?" Inside I'm freaking out like a little kid "yes, yes, yes!" But I try to play cool :) I ask "is that what you want?" Of course no answer "I asked you first." Of course- forgot- not in charge here! I tell him at this point knowing what I know about him I would want him to own me. I hesitate a little even though inside I want to be owned by Sir. When it is actually presented to you- you freak a little. Well at least I did! I think- this is my chance to back out if I truly do not want to give up control. But honestly- I want nothing else than to give up control to another. But it does take a lot of trust to give one so much control.


For the time being he asked me if I wanted to complete a task for him tonight. I thought well of course I do! He said "well you may play with yourself tonight and your favorite toy. For as long as you want- but at least 10 minutes." I'm thinking "yeah! I'm getting rewarded for good behavior finally for following his rule! Finally- finally I may be able to think again! I wont be frustrated anymore." No such luck- "but NO cumming." Awww man! You are really trying to kill me! So I of course complete my task. Now in the beginning I think- 10 minutes- I can do that; I'll just stop right after that so I don't have to endure the frustration more than I have to. But as I get into it I think- "no I'm going to milk every minute of this! Who knows when the next time will be that I get to feel this." I guess I am just a masochist- I played to the point right before I knew I was going to cum. Why? I wanted to feel that frustration. I want to be on edge. I have been for almost a month now- it would seem odd to not be on edge at this point. I may complain the whole time but I love the control of being denied pleasure and I love being on edge!


So at this point I will say yes I do want Sir to own me- officially. I just need to find out what the terms are. I am excited to begin my journey in bdsm. I want to learn and experience everything I can. I am overjoyed that Sir would want to own me. So hopefully within the next couple days- I will officially be owned. Update to come.