Continuously Evolving

I am still amazed each day by how comfortable I am getting when it comes to BDSM. Now that I'm comfortable with it I can explore more and truly figure out what I enjoy and what I can do without.I think since there are so many aspects of BDSM I will continuously evolve. I may like certain things now but decide later on they really don't do it for me anymore.


Things I thought I liked in the beginning- I've found out I don't like so much- and things I thought I had no interest in- I love! For instance in the beginning I thought I was into humiliation- well I found out I am but only in certain aspects. I'me fine tuning my kinks :) I found I definately do not like verbal humiliation- like name calling or comments like "your worhtless" or "your pathetic". I dislike that so much. But physical humiliation I love. Such as: having to walk around without any clothes- completely naked, Told to wear more revealing clothes- or go without underwear or a bra, Told to stand or sit in different positions- like bent over a desk naked, legs spread or with a skirt on, flipped up and no underwear. That type of humiliation I love- live for!


I never thought I would be into pain. I think because society views people that enjoy pain or enjoy infliciting pain as sick, twisted individuals. So I was totally closed off to the idea of being excited about being spanked until my ass is so sore I can't sit down. Or being turned on when I see bruises develop from rough play all over my body. Having my hair pulled so hard I tear up; having a cock shoved down my throat so I gag. Being slapped on the face- pushed, thrown down on a bed, shoved up against a wall- hand around my neck applying pressure. It took me a long time to admit to myself that that is what I like. It intrigues me that is what I love the most so far out of everything I have tried- rough play and pain- I love every moment of it.


Another thing I've learned as well is not only do your likes and dislikes evolve- in my case it changes with every partner as well. One thing that feels right with one may not feel right with another. It's situational- I may enjoy calling one person Sir, but it may feel completely odd with another. I may enjoy verbal humiliation with one but feel completely degraded and used with another. I may want one person to tie me up and use me for their pleasure only, yet with someone else I may want them to please me as much as I please them. When it comes down to it- personally anyways- since I am so into pleasing my partner- I enjoy whatever it is they enjoy. I find out what they like and I am comfortable with those things in that particular situation. I definately have hard limits on certain things but everything else I am open and willing to try with my partner if I know it will bring them pleasure.


The biggest thing I've learned so far is it's ok to try new things and it's ok to chage your mind on your likes and dislikes. At this point since I have not tried much when it comes to the "list" of different BDSM experiences I feel like a kid in a candy store. I stand in awe- trying to figure out which one to try first. They all look so yummy and I want to try them all to see which ones I like. I want to run through the store and grab everything all at once and gorge myself because I have held in my need for so long. Sometimes it is so overwhelming that my days are filled with nothing but thoughts of BDSM- I want to experience so much all the time right now. I feel like I have to make up for lost time :) But it might just be because I'm a sex crazed redhead- I can never get enough.


Side note:

I was discussing something with a Dom the other day that I have thought about numerous times before. I wanted to ask all the Dom's out there a question. I know how hard it was for me to admit that I enjoyed pain- I can only imagine how hard it was for some to come to terms with the fact that they liked inflicting pain. So I want to ask if you are willing to share your experiences with me- how did you feel going through that? What made you realize it was ok? What was your turning point? At what age did you know you enjoyed BDSM? How did you get involved in BDSM? Anything- I would love to hear some of your experiences.