I mentioned before that I would not be discussing the first Dom I met in person. But I think it is time I did. The only reason I bring him up is because he made a comment once that we totally disagreed on and it still pops in my head all the time. Of course he gets a nickname- now this one took a lot of thought because his personality was so multilayered and intriguing. Finally I came up with Jawbreaker. As you know jawbreakers are hard as hell- there is no way you can bite into them due to layer upon layer of sugar- it makes for an indestructible candy.
Now Jawbreaker's personality- he is by far the strictest Dom I have met yet. He made it known from the very beginning he was in total control of everything- and I mean everything! He made it clear his sub was only there for his pleasure- he did not think a sub should derive any pleasure from the experience. He said pleasing him and him alone should be enough to please his sub. He also said he did not want his sub to worry about when she could orgasm- ever- because that would mean her mind was preoccupied and she should only worry about his pleasure. His thoughts on pleasing his sub- maybe on birthdays and holidays! That's all- had no intention of ever worrying about his sub's pleasure. He even wanted to put his sub on a strict diet and she could only eat what he said. She would only be allowed to eat her favorite things on rare occasions. When we met for dinner he even ordered for me- when I corrected him on my order he looked at me like "how dare you speak!", he ordered dessert- oh excuse me- he gave me three choices to choose from after he asked me what my favorite type of dessert was. I told him I love chocolate- he said "well you have to choose from..." then he gave me three choices- none of which were chocolate! I think he was just being cruel hehe. You get the point- he was strict!
So the dilemma we discussed numerous times was this: I can be fiesty and misbehave on purpose to get a punishment or be put back in my place. Why? I like the rush I get from it. The anticipation, the build up before the actual punishment- it's like a mini adrenaline rush for me. It's not the punishment itself that I enjoy as much as the thrill I get from wondering what it is that is going to happen- how far will they take it? How big of a punishment will it be?
His view on misbehaving on purpose was that it was manipulating the situation to get what you want. He said he didn't want to give into the "demands" of his sub because then that would make the sub in control of the situation and not the Dom. He said he would rather his sub just ask for a punishment out right and then he would make the decision whether he wanted to or not. Now am I just strange in thinking this? I don't view it as manipulation at all. Also- I don't want control of any situation- that's why I'm a sub! If I wanted control I definately would not put myself in a situation for a man to punish me in whatever way he saw fit. Also- I understand it is the sub's job to please her Dom but come on! No pleasure at all- ever?! I don't think so. If I'm putting myself out there, trusting you completely with my physical and mental well being- you don't think I deserve any pleasure at all? Sorry- for me it doesn't work that way.
If I just came out and aksed to be punished that would totally go against why I'm doing it in the first place. If I were just looking for punishment- then fine I'd ask for it outright. But the reason for the misbehaving is not to manipulate the situation or to displease- no! Also- it's not something I would do all the time- just every once in a while. 95% of the time I am totally on my best behavior- sometimes I just happen to get fiesty.Plus- what's more fun- punishing me because I ask, or punishing me because I was a bad, bad girl? hehe I am a bit of a thrill seeker-I live for that feeling of anticipation. Just like I enjoy orgasm denial. I love that feeling of being on edge for hours, days- being teased nonstop with no release. Why? The end result is so much more enjoyable.
So I put this question out there to all the Dom's. Do you view misbehaving on purpose a way of manipulation- or do you find it fun like I do?
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